If you have 5 years left to live

1. If you were told you only had 5 years left, what would you do? Get my drink on and go get lucky.
2. Who is the first 5 people you would tell? Ma, Pa, Hanz, Name and Nat.
3. What would you start doing to get prepared? Get my drink on.
4. What kind of song would you want played at your funeral? Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunk.
5. What kind of setting would you want for viewing? Viewing? As in my dead self? Open casket, dressed as George Michael – Faith period.
6. Who would be your pallbearers? BAH HA HA! I wouldn’t inflict that on anyone, but if I did I’d make Dad, Pat, Johnny, and Spud.
7. Would you want a gathering for after your funeral? Hell yes.
8. If so what would you want done or served? Irish jigs. Chips and dips. Cider.
9. Would you want people to be sad and crying or just be happy/be their selves? Sad. I’m DEAD! My emo memory must live on FOREVER.
10. Is there any special place you want to be buried at? I don’t want to be, just flush me.
11. What do you want said at your funeral? She’s hot, you’re not.
12. How do you want people to be dressed? Like Abba.
13. Do you believe you will go to heaven? No, not really.
14. What do you view heaven looking like? Your mums ass.
15. Is there any sayings you have for certain people? Your mother has a penis.
16. Do you want to be buried or cremated? Neither.
17. What’s your favourite kind of flowers/plants? Eggplant.
18. Favourite colours? Black and gold, black and gold, black and gold.
19. How do you want your tombstone read? Rachel Danger Farrell – A Stunner and a bummer.
20. Any last words: Don’t touch my stuff, if I have any money left give it to the kids (Jack, Oscar and Ava) Tell the people I hate its their fault I’m dead, dead as nails (First born, Timotei)